Don't forget your Partner

Compliments of the season folks. Trust we had a restful and joyous holiday. I did actually, took time to rest. Such long holidays are not easy to come by at least in this part of the world.😀

Hnmm, Christmas! Christmas. The day has come and gone and we all are looking forward to the new year. But how did we spend our Christmas? Can we look back and tell ourselves convincingly that it was well spent as far as our relationships are concerned? We know that Christ is the reason for the season. John 3:16a says For God so loved the world, that He gave His most precious gift. This implies that God gave us Jesus as a demonstration of His love for us. 

The Irresistible Woman

 

To be irresistible simply means to be impossible to resist, impossible to refuse. Everyone wants an irresistible spouse, someone that they can hardly say no to, someone who turns their heads and make them long for them, such that almost every time they are not together, it is as if a part of them is missing.

Things you want to know b4 saying "I DO"

Compliments of the season people of God.

Marriage is a beautiful thing. It is a relationship that was instituted by God himself for companionship, teamwork, procreation and all. However, because we live in a world where deception has become the order of the day, you don't just can’t say “I do” to anyone one on the street or in the church. You want to know the person to whom you want to make lifetime commitment well enough, hence the period of courtship is very very important. As a matter of fact, that period should not be wished away. It is a time you want to ask questions upon questions just to be sure you are not committing to a total stranger.

Confused......

Dear Moderator,

Thank you for your blog, it has impacted me  great deal, but something has been bothering me for a while now, Infact, it has caused serious issue between my husband and I.

Sometimes ago , my husband whom I got married to some 5 years ago was telling me how nice it will be for me to dress up in shorts and skimpy revealing tops at home but I told him those dressings are indecent, more importantly that we are Christians and he in particular is a minister of the gospel.

Time Wasters

Hello Good people,

Merry Christmas and a prosperous new year in advance.

Dennis and I met in our first year in the university as we were going through the registration process. Luckily we were to be in the same department, as such we became friends from then on. We would go and read together, went for lunch together, practically did everything together. 

This went on for about 3 years. Most of our colleagues had undoubtedly believed we were courting, and expected us to get married - the relationship was quite strong, and this kept many would-be suitors away. Dennis on his part had never asked me out, we just continued to be friends.

Is this peculiar or general?

I met an old friend some two weeks ago, in a supermarket, whom I haven't seen in about 10 years. She was standing right beside the shelve where I wanted to pick an item. So in a bid to excuse her, I wanted to greet before asking her to excuse me, and because of the size and stature of the person right in front of me, I had to say “Good evening ma, could you please excuse me” #yorubathings, lol! And as she was going to respond, she looked at me and behold, she was my classmate back in the university. She screamed my name, “Hey hey, how have you been? How is the family, work and all?”. After exchanging all the pleasantries you can imagine, I couldn't help myself but ask her “What happened to you? How did you get to this size?”. Maybe I should mention here that my friend was a size 10 when we were in school but seeing her now, she should be wearing between size 18 and 20, depending on the designer and cut of the cloth, and was looking about 5 months pregnant.

How much information should be given during courtship?

Dear Readers, 

We have a letter from one of our readers, he needs our honest and sincere advice. Please see the letter below:

Good day Moderator,

Let us just say my name is anonymous. I have been married for a little less than one year, and marital life has been good until about 4 months ago when my wife took ill and was rushed to the hospital after she collapsed at the office and was unconscious.

After she became conscious, we went to see the doctor at his request, where he started counselling on how to manage the situation until further treatments commence. I was so shocked because I had thought it was kind of pregnancy induced illness. As soon as the doctor saw the rude shock on my face, he asked her “Madam, why is Uncle shocked? Is he not aware?” Without hesitation, I asked “aware of what”? The revelation I was privy to opened a new chapter in my life and our marriage.

Sexting....

Sexting is a the new flirting concept now especially among youths and teens and even young adults. The word is derived from sex and texting and it is a concept where mobile devices are used to send and receive sexually explicit messages.

Wrong reasons to get married.

Last week, we rounded up our series on meeting the need of our spouses, I appreciate your feedback both in the comment section and phone calls. Some agreed with me that unmet need can lead to unhappiness, frustration  and ultimately extra marital affair, but some believed that it is not possible to meet our spouse needs 100%. Well, maybe or maybe not, but I will recommend we watch a movie titled TEMPTATION: CONFESSIONS OF A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR by Tyler Perry, we will understand what could happen to anyone whose needs are not met in marriage.

Now let's move on to what we have to discuss this week.

Meeting the need of your Spouse PT 2

Hello good people,

Hope you found last week's topic educating, I promised we would round it up this week and that is what we are doing today. What are the other needs that each of us require to be happy when they are met?

He needs a babe for a wife : Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, but most men love attractive women which explains why they look for the beautiful, figure eight ones to court. Have you seen brides these days? Oh my ! You will wonder if they are walking Angels. They appear as if God just dropped them from heaven without having to pass thru the delivery process. When a man marries a woman like this, he expects to see her like this for some years to come. We are not saying every woman must look like a beauty queen, but they should try and maintain their pre-marital look and figure. We also know that shape and size will change as days go by , as age goes up and child bearing / raising begin, but all of these should not be an excuse for gaining weight. Not that a woman who was married as size 8 will become a size 16 after one child, if not how will she be after 3 children.  then, it's not that a woman should not make any attempt to retain the figure. This is also one of the reasons some men don't like going out with their wives, because the women are looking more like their aunt instead of wives.

Meeting the need of your Spouse.....

Hello good people,

Trust we are doing great.

One of the causes of marital problems is the couple's inability to make each other happy. The way to make each other happy is to know and give what each other needs according to how important it is to them. In other words, meeting the need of a spouse will reduce if not totally eliminate marital conflicts. Couples are not making each other happy not because it is intentional but it is due to simple ignorance of each other's needs.  The bible says my people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.

While I am waiting......

Hello good People,

It was indeed very interesting to read all the comments on how to achieve success in our marriages / relationships. I believe we found at least one of the points useful.

Today's short piece is specially dedicated to our single sisters.

Every lady dreams of walking the aisle someday with the man of her dream so as to live happily ever after. This dream may be actualized early in life perhaps in the early 20s or it can come as late as in the 40s and beyond. It may not even come at all, but whatever time it comes, we can only give God the glory.

Successful marriage is not by accident Pt 2

Happy new months to you, ten is a symbol of double grace, may we experience this in all spheres of our lives IJN. Sincerely, I must say a very big thank you to you people for your feedback, you guys are my inspiration.

Let me say here that we acknowledge the fact that each marriage is unique, we only try to provide a guide on how we can achieve the purpose of God in our relationship. There are no two homes that can be same because the parties involved are different and the circumstances surrounding them are not same, however, there are some principles that cut across, which I guess when applied will give some level of comfort and stability in our relationships. Take the issue of trust for example, I'm sure there is nobody in a relationship who does not want to be trusted, even those that came together by cheating on their previous partners.

Success in Marriage is not by accident

Hello Peeps,

Success doesn't  happen automatically in all areas of our lives. It takes planning to achieve a very substantial level of success in whatever we do. Most times, we require knowledge to plan for success which is based on information available to us.

Effective Communication

Seun and Brenda have been married for two years. They both work in the bank. Often times it's after Brenda comes home late in the evening that she will rush into the kitchen to make dinner and put the living room together even though the husband might have been home some hours earlier. This usually makes her stay up till very late in the evening which makes her feel her husband is enslaving her.
 

Communication

Hello good people.

Trust we found last week's discussion helpful.

Today, we have a question here from one of our readers. She has been so worried and full of questions in her heart. Her story is shared below:

Jane and Kingsley have been married for about 7 years with 2 beautiful children. They met at a friend's wedding and became friends. Before long they started courting and got married 3 years later. The first few years of their marriage was rosy and Kingsley was able to provide all the needs at home even though Jane was also earning well in her organization.

Who can I marry?

Good morning Peeps,

As humans, we make decisions every time on everything and anything, and the decisions we make can either make or mar us. If we do not make the right decision on some issues, the consequences could live with us a lifetime causing pain, agony, resentment among other negatives.

As a matter of fact, our lives are products of decision making. We take decisions on career matters, where to live, where to work, who to relate with, where to eat, what to wear and who to spend the rest of our lives with are not excluded from this process. Marriage is a life time contract and you want to get it right from the beginning.

Often times, people say “I love him”. "I just can't do without her”. The truth is there is no one you cannot live without, but it's important to marry someone you can live with.

Can't I Marry him?

Happy new month Peeps,

I got this mail from a reader over the weekend. She needs our advice on a very crucial issue, please read and advise.

Dear Nurturing Relationships,

My name is Barbara. I'm currently a youth corp member serving in Warri. My sister Nene has been married for about 5 years and lives in Lagos with her husband.

I went to visit them when they had their first child about 4 years ago and stayed for close to 3 months courtesy of ASUU strike at the time. While I was there, my sister's brother in law – Dare also came around while he was waiting for his call-up letter.

Dating

Franca and JB (not real names) met in the office where they were working. The duo were always together, came to the office together and go home together in JB's car, had lunch together, went to the cinema among other things and they appeared quite happy and committed to each other at least to their friends and colleagues.

Occasionally, Franca would visit him during the weekend, helped him with some chores and generally they had good times together.

Courtship

Good day peeps, 

Today we are considering an interesting concept on the journey to marriage, called COURTSHIP. What exactly do we understand by this word? So many definitions exit for it but we will make do with the Wikipedia's which describes it as “establishment of an agreed relationship for a more lasting type”. In other words, there must be an agreement between the intending couple to have a long-lasting relationship, which confirms what the bible says in Amos 3: 3 that two cannot walk together except they agree. 

It can also be described as a period of time when intending couple get to know themselves so as to be able to determine if they are fit for each other in marriage or otherwise.

Welcome !

Hiya! Welcome to Nurturing Relationships, where we discuss relationship matters in the light of God’s word; the intention of God as far as relationships are concerned. Before we go into details, let’s examine what a relationship is.

Simply put, a relationship is a way two or more people are connected or get involved. Relationships are formed based on trust or common interest, mutual respect etc.

Four major types of relationship exist: Casual, Professional, Romantic and Family .