Tuesday, September 01, 2015

Can't I Marry him?



Happy new month Peeps,

I got this mail from a reader over the weekend. She needs our advice on a very crucial issue, please read and advise.

Dear Nurturing Relationships,

My name is Barbara. I'm currently a youth corp member serving in Warri. My sister Nene has been married for about 5 years and lives in Lagos with her husband.

I went to visit them when they had their first child about 4 years ago and stayed for close to 3 months courtesy of ASUU strike at the time. While I was there, my sister's brother in law – Dare also came around while he was waiting for his call-up letter.

Often times, just both of us and the newborn would be at home when my sister and her hubby had gone to the office. We would gist, watch the TV together and visit the cinema occasionally. From there, we became close and then a relationship was birthed.
 
After about two months at home, it was time for him to go to the Orientation camp in Enugu so he left and I went back to school when the industrial action was called off. The relationship continued and waxed stronger even though we were physically apart. At the end of the service year, he was fortunate to get a job in Lagos, he stayed with his brother in the first six months before moving out to his own place.

Now I have completed my studies and serving. We want to make the relationship formal by informing all our family members so we can have proper introduction and begin the wedding plans. But because we have anticipated that there may be one or more objections, I recently asked my mum if it will be okay for me to marry Dare but she said no because my sister is already married to his brother, questioning why 2 sisters will marry into the same family.

Honestly, I love Dare so much and I know he loves me too. He is the most amazing and understanding guy I ever met in my entire life and the thought that I might lose him is getting me worked up.

Please advise me. Is there any reason (biblical or cultural) that could prevent me from walking down the aisle with him???

Thank you, hope to read from you soon.


Barbara.

 


8 comments:

TemmyD said...

This usually seem to be like an anomaly to lots of people. However I think such unions should not be discouraged even though their older siblings are married to one another. Going by the scriptures, there is no issue with them getting married as there are even cases of first cousins getting married in the bible; Isaac and Rebekah, even Sarah is related to Abraham while the couples being referred to here are only in-laws not relations.

Unknown said...




It's simply cultural.

Unknown said...

I believe there is nothing wrong with the union of the two; they are in-laws and not related by blood. However it must be done with understanding and agreement with the families involved.

The man must stand up for what he believes is right and help to convince his family, that will help the lady's family to lend their support to the union.

The couple should together lift the issues they are having to God, He will direct them and help them overcome.

Anonymous said...

@ LUCY ETUH please explain more.............

Anonymous said...

I do not see anything wrong with two brothers marrying two sisters, as long as all of them are okay with it.

Unknown said...



It's simply cultural and family traditions and what they believe.
Just pray about it.

Unknown said...

good day,
Very interesting discussion and its only a sin in the bible for you to get married to your own blood related family i.e. from the same root, if we are to go by biblica standard you are very OK to get married to anyone who is not directly related to you by birth.

Culturaly, we might see it as an abormination or not morally right because the both families are now one family and they should see themselves as brother and sister, based on how strong and deep rooted the family cultural values are and their educational background.

Your union lies between both families cultural view of the subject matter which indeed calls for serious attention before the damage goes beyond repair.

Above all, the place of prayer is very important as nothing can be achieved without GOD's approval. seek GOD first before your parent not GOD after your parents disapproval....

Remain Bless

Unknown said...

I don't know a cultural impediment that could prevent you from marrying Dare, what exactly could be wrong about 2 sisters marrying 2 brothers? Would that mean marrying to one man? Except if your mum would have other reasons why it should not be she should otherwise forever hold her peace.
Nothing spoil.