Meeting the need of your Spouse PT 2

Hello good people,

Hope you found last week's topic educating, I promised we would round it up this week and that is what we are doing today. What are the other needs that each of us require to be happy when they are met?

He needs a babe for a wife : Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, but most men love attractive women which explains why they look for the beautiful, figure eight ones to court. Have you seen brides these days? Oh my ! You will wonder if they are walking Angels. They appear as if God just dropped them from heaven without having to pass thru the delivery process. When a man marries a woman like this, he expects to see her like this for some years to come. We are not saying every woman must look like a beauty queen, but they should try and maintain their pre-marital look and figure. We also know that shape and size will change as days go by , as age goes up and child bearing / raising begin, but all of these should not be an excuse for gaining weight. Not that a woman who was married as size 8 will become a size 16 after one child, if not how will she be after 3 children.  then, it's not that a woman should not make any attempt to retain the figure. This is also one of the reasons some men don't like going out with their wives, because the women are looking more like their aunt instead of wives.

For those men who are endeared to attractive wives, inner qualities alone will not make them feel fulfilled, they want to see their wives hawt each time , and when this need is not  met, they get frustrated and may want to find solace elsewhere.
My dear sisters, I am of the opinion that we should package ourselves for these men. Use make up as appropriate, not such that will make you look like some clown somewhere. Let everything be done in moderation.
Dress yourself well and adorn yourself appropriately. Get a fitting hairdo, not the one that will make you look miserable or wearing the same style for more than 6 months. Dress to 'kill' him, that is part of your responsibility as a woman, so that he hardly will be able to resist you as soon as he sees you. You don't have to break the vault to achieve this, but ensure you are able to put what you have together so it can come out well. Meanwhile, the dressing here is not just about the outer clothes, the inners are equally important to pay close attention. You will want to give him what he likes. If he likes to see you in tongs, why not? Give it to him. And if he detests it, learn to comply. Don't be like a woman who refused to wear tong for the husband and had to spend many years on her knees praying for his return after he was involved with a strange woman for more than 3 years.
Personal hygiene also should be focused on. If you need to see a dentist, do so. The bottom line is let your appearance make him feel good.

She needs a man of integrity. Every woman loves a man she can trust, whose yes is yes and whose no is no -Matt 5:37. Mistrust/distrust destroys our sense of security. If we cannot trust the information we get from you, we will not be able to grow with you. Instead it will make you grow apart, because one day, someone may just come knock at the door that he is looking for his or her father.

He needs peace and quietness. Men usually look forward to a home free of tension and stress. They are drawn to any woman who creates this atmosphere, who will not nag him away. Proverbs 21:19 says it is better to live in the desert than with a contentious and angry woman. I heard about a big guy in his office who would come early to work but would also close very late from 11pm, just to ensure that the wife would still be sleeping by the time he left and would have slept at his return. How much more of hell can one live in?
Picture a man that is welcomed with hug and kisses at the door by his wife after a day's hard job, she urges him to take a shower, before he comes back, dinner is set and all of those. How happy can he not get? In fact, he will drop his ATM card with PIN without hesitation. Every man loves a home where he is welcomed and treated with regard.

She needs a man who can support financially. Not that she married him because of his money, but will appreciate a man who earns enough to cater for major expenses at home. 1 Timothy 5:8 says any man who cannot provide for his household has denied the faith and is worse than an infidel. She needs a man who can rent / build their accommodation , pay the kids school fees, feed them, etc.  She will be more than willing to support if she sees the man take the lead. This is not to say that women can take up such roles when the situation arises, but it will always be more respectable if a man assumes that responsibility fully.

Finally, He needs her to be proud of him. Anytime he does something and the woman tells him she feels he is wonderful, he is inspired to achieve more. He is motivated and rewarded for existing achievement. When a woman always criticizes whatever her husband does, she will only succeed in destroying his self esteem which is not okay for the men. Even when they haven't done something correctly, we should not just throw it at their faces. We should acknowledge and appreciate the effort they have put in before subtly correcting them as applicable.

She needs him to be a good husband and father. Women love men who are committed to the family. We need men who will take the leadership role in the family and also commit to the training of the children.  Proverbs 22:16 says train up a child the way he should go, so that when he grows,he will not depart from it.
A man who should value hanging out with his family more than hanging out with the guys. We understand he needs to work to provide for us,but we equally need him to help us especially with raising the children. You see that we are Oliver Twist bah?
Even if it's once in a while, we would appreciate a family dinner, family outing, playing games with the children or reading bedtime stories to them. We just need a man who is committed to his family.

But can we really meet all of each other's need? Maybe not, but for as long as the basic needs are met, the parties involved are happy and this will birth a happy relationship, marriage , family and ultimately society.

Thank you all for taking time to read this piece. Always remember that we need the wisdom of God to build our homes and His understanding to establish it.

Till next week Tuesday, the grace of God be with us all.