I
met an old friend some two weeks ago, in a supermarket, whom I
haven't seen in about 10 years. She was standing right beside the
shelve where I wanted to pick an item. So in a bid to excuse her, I
wanted to greet before asking her to excuse me, and because of the
size and stature of the person right in front of me, I had to say
“Good evening ma, could you please excuse me” #yorubathings, lol!
And as she was going to respond, she looked at me and behold, she was
my classmate back in the university. She screamed my name, “Hey
hey, how have you been? How is the family, work and all?”. After
exchanging all the pleasantries you can imagine, I couldn't help
myself but ask her “What happened to you? How did you get to this
size?”. Maybe I should mention here that my friend was a size 10
when we were in school but seeing her now, she should be wearing
between size 18 and 20, depending on the designer and cut of the
cloth, and was looking about 5 months pregnant.
“Hmmm”.
She took a deep breath and said “Sweetheart, this issue you have
just mentioned is about to ruin my marriage”. By now, we were
sitting at the outdoor area and were munching some snacks. And guess
what? My friend's order was a piece of cake and a chilled bottle of
coke. Anyways, fast forward to our gist.
“Do
you know I had to send my househelp away some 3 months ago because of
this issue?” I wondered “How?What has your help got to do with
this?” Again, she took a deep breath and said, “She had
practically taken over the house from me, but I know my husband
wasn't sleeping with her, but he would practically prefer her to do
stuff for him, like packing his food for work, serving his meal etc”.
She continued “My husband doesn't go out with me anymore except to
the church and when we do, we don't walk side by side. He will prefer
I alight with the kids first while he strolls to meet us in the
auditorium. And need I tell you that we haven't made love in about 7
months. And before then, we were only meeting perhaps once or twice
in a month for about 1 year before the complete seizure”.
As
she continued, she said “I have confronted him severally especially
concerning the matrimonial bed issue and he was claiming tiredness
from the stress he was going through at work and .Lately he said to
me, “I'm honestly put off by your size. I no longer find you as
attractive as the babe I met. Let me tell you, I am not seeing
anyone, so don't begin to nurse the idea that it's because I have met
a younger girl that is why I have changed, but in all sincerity, I
can't stand your size. Do something about it, and we are back on
track. Otherwise, when I no longer can bear it, I will be forced to
cheat on you, not necessarily by sleeping with someone else, but
having another companion who I can be more comfortable with”.
I
was speechless, just staring at her as though I was watching a
Nollywood movie. When I was able to put myself together, I asked “How
big is your hubby?”. “My dear, he has been wearing size 15 shirt
and a medium size t-shirt since we met” was her response. “Aha!”,
I said “Now I understand where your hubby is coming from”. I
tried to change the mood a bit - “When is your due date?” I was
considering when she can be fit to enrol in a fitness club so as to
work on her size. “Due date?” she asked “I am not pregnant. I
have 2 kids already, but by CS, hence my big tummy”. I was
dumbfounded. We really talked at length. I gave her some advice on
how she can at least reduce her present size and win her husband
back.
My
worry here really is, is this kind of behaviour from my friend's
husband peculiar to him or it cuts across the men folk?
Please
share your thoughts and if you have any advice for her as to how she
can win her husband again, please feel free to share. I know two
heads are better than one. Who knows, your contribution may just nip
this issue in the board.
Thank
you as always. Remember, a house is built by Wisdom, but established
by Understanding
Have
a great week ahead.
5 comments:
I'm so sorry about your friend's case. But I tell you, this is not peculiar to her husband, it's applicable to majority of guys.
My advise to her is to enrol in a gym, see if she can loose some KGs of weight. The challenge is most women tend to relax as soon as they get married which should not be, if you aske me, that is when they should up their games. She needs to know that the competition continues after marriage.
Even if these men dont chase girls, girls will run after them especially if they are caring and stuff.
No particular experience to relay, however it should be noted that men are attracted by things they see. A wife needs to make herself physically attractive to the husband always, she must be properly groomed, being overweight and oversight is definitely a no no...
There are also health implications to this, the man would not even want such stress added to his life. Wives should at all times be of moderate sizes and look good as this would boost attractiveness to their husbands and ultimately stronger and better bedroom pleasures.
She should be ready to let go of some things she likes eating for her to get her man's attention.She is fortunate to have a man who will give her an honest feedback. Let her take heed now, when he is not at the limit, and help him find pleasure in beholding the beauty he married. He sure still loves her, but the size thing is not it. It will take a lot of discipline and sacrifice, but it will be worth it all. The Lord will help you make the right sacrifices.
She need to go extra mile to keep her marriage. I suggest she go with exercise and Clean 9 cleanse for months. Follow that appropriately it should work seen it work.
While I appreciate that we should not use the position of one man to generalise, it is a known fact that men are moved by what they see and having been wired to react 95% to the opposite sex configuration and frame, it is likely most men would react negatively when their women become a bit careless with their stature and frame.
However, some would prefer ladies with big frames while some other would want their spouse brief and slim. It is indeed a case of one man's meat being someone else's poison. E yi ti o wu mi, ko wu o, nii kii je ki omo iya meji pa owo po fe obirin kan na.
It is however instructive that once one's partner/spouse becomes uncomfortable with the other's frame, appearance or compartment, only 2 options would be possible; either to conform or be parked.
The lady in focus should consider herself fortunate that a window is provided for her to make amends and she had better grab the opportunity with both hands.
A man would always want what he can handle and be proud about.
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