Good
day peeps,
Today
we are considering an interesting concept on the journey to marriage,
called COURTSHIP. What exactly do we understand by this word? So many
definitions exit for it but we will make do with the Wikipedia's
which describes it as “establishment of an agreed
relationship for a more lasting type”. In other words, there must
be an agreement between the intending couple to have a long-lasting
relationship, which confirms what the bible says in Amos 3: 3 that
two cannot walk together except they agree.
It
can also be described as a period of time when intending couple get
to know themselves so as to be able to determine if they are fit for
each other in marriage or otherwise.
It
is a very crucial time in the journey of marriage when you enquire,
discover, prepare and seek the face of God together. You want to know
who you want to commit your life to in details i.e. whether or not
you share the same beliefs, values, aspiration, vision, etc. Also,
you want to find out who s/he is, the family, his / her past, present
and future, if s/he has been married, has a child or children etc.
because it won't be good to wake up to some harsh reality later
because once you say “I do”, you cannot say “I don't”.
During
this period, the couple prepares for the wedding and how to run /
build the new home. They want to agree on where to live, the kind of
home (depending on other factors), the number of children, in-laws,
finance, joint account, honeymoon among other things.
They
need the wisdom of God to deal with salient issues otherwise
decisions that can mar the relationship could be taken, remember a
house is built only by Wisdom, while Understanding establishes it –
Prov 24 : 3.
Take
time to study each other, be honest and open, but don't give out too
much information at a time as this could lead to regret should you
discover you no longer can walk the aisle together. Allow the
relationship grow naturally and as it grows you will discover the
appropriate time to share whatever information.
Above
all, limit your physical intimacy, create a boundary and stick to it.
Chastity should be the watchword here otherwise, it can bring about
hurt and pain of a lifetime. Courtship is not the same as marriage so
you don't start feeling like “one” while still courting. Avoid
spending time together at completely secluded places or so late at
night, otherwise you may discover that your resistance to temptation
becomes threatened. Heb 13:4 says Marriage is honourable in
all, and the bed undefiled but whoremongers and adulterers God will
judge (some bible versions say “but fornicators and adulterers God
will judge”).
In
as much as the length of courtship is not cast in stone, it should
not be unnecessarily long. It's success is determined by how well not
how long. You will agree with me that one cannot know someone
completely, but it is wise to allow it run for a reasonable period so
as to avail you the opportunity to know your partner to some
comfortable extent.
Courtship
is established with the sole aim of walking down the aisle someday,
but not all end in marriage. If the couple discover along the line
that they are not compatible, they can break up anytime. This may
sound harsh, but not walking out of a non-working courtship is to
prepare for a life of enslavement. Remember, a broken courtship is
better that a broken marriage.
Till
next time when we meet, the joy of the Lord is your strength.
7 comments:
This is all true. We need to take time to know ourselves in courtship. These days, all you see are shot gun weddings with shot gun endings - they never last!
A broken courtship is actually better then a broken marriage,am a testimony and i have friends that went ahead and they are in ''HELL ON EARTH''.Please lets look properly before we jump into it.
Cheers
This is a very interesting topic and will want us to dwell on it richy because this is where people get it right or wrong in the beautiful journey of marriage.
Like the moderation said 'it is an establishment of an AGREED relationship for a more lasting type'. Agreed means every little thing has to be discussed, negociated, accepted, holding the same view or opinion on something by all parties. No matter how minute or less concern the situation is, pls discuss it agree on it and take a stand on it, don't overlook it because of love, GOD forbid that the same small issue is the main reason why the marriage went the other way round.
I was opportuned to attend a seminal during my courtship days tittled 'Every Little Thing Matters in a Marriage'. Please once again don't ignore it rather talk about it....
Remain Bless.
Thank you for the exposition. May the Lord help those who are just starting and be with those who are already in it. May we have good story to tell about the journey.
So well delivered. It is really not particularly difficult to agree with your submission. The journey actually started with courtship. It could brief, short or prolonged but iexperience have shown that courtship does not guarantee that they both would know all of the attitudes, manners and prejudices about each other well enough.
However, it sure provides opportunity for both party to have a good ground to hope for the best and that requires that both party be honest with each other.
Courtship is time to be open and honest to each other. You need to be open concerning your fears and weaknesses with your intending partner. Only then can they understand more about you and find ways of helping to bring each other to perfection. Courtship is about building and you can only build in unity and in agreement.
Courtship is a decision making time. It’s not for kissing and romancing or for sex.
Failure to safeguard your affections can result in disaster. If you don’t settle this issue before temptations comes, inevitably you will make choices that you will regret. As you choose to carefully guard against inappropriate emotional attachment and physical intimacy, you can avoid much heartache and pain, particularly if the relationship does not culminate in marriage .you will also discover the great rewards of being faithful and self-sacrificing to one another. Guard your heart so that you don’t ignite passions that should be reserved only for marriage.
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