Compliments of the season people of God.
Marriage is a beautiful thing. It is a relationship that was instituted by God himself for companionship, teamwork, procreation and all. However, because we live in a world where deception has become the order of the day, you don't just can’t say “I do” to anyone one on the street or in the church. You want to know the person to whom you want to make lifetime commitment well enough, hence the period of courtship is very very important. As a matter of fact, that period should not be wished away. It is a time you want to ask questions upon questions just to be sure you are not committing to a total stranger.
Marriage is a beautiful thing. It is a relationship that was instituted by God himself for companionship, teamwork, procreation and all. However, because we live in a world where deception has become the order of the day, you don't just can’t say “I do” to anyone one on the street or in the church. You want to know the person to whom you want to make lifetime commitment well enough, hence the period of courtship is very very important. As a matter of fact, that period should not be wished away. It is a time you want to ask questions upon questions just to be sure you are not committing to a total stranger.
Some of the questions or things you want to find out during this period include but not limited to:
·Is s/he a child of God?: You want to know if the person you
want to spend the rest of your lie with has a relationship with God or he is
just a regular church goer or he doesn't even go at all. Not because he is into
worshiping any other thing or being, he is just not into the things of God. Or is
he such that needs some cajoling before he picks up his bible? How does s/he
react when you mention things about church of God? The psalmist in Psalm 122
vs1 that I was glad when they said unto me, let us go into the house of God. It
is impossible for anyone to have a relationship with God without demonstrating
it by his commitment to the things of God. The bible says we should not be
unequally yoked with unbelievers. In essence, you want to know his stand in
this regards, otherwise, instead of you pulling him up, he may end up pulling
you down, which is the easier of the two.
· Is s/he manipulative / domineering? : As you go thru the
period of courtship, you want to find out if you intended spouse has the
tendency to want to influence your behaviour or emotions for his/ her own
purpose (manipulative). Typically, they know how to find out your weakness so
as to use it against you and convince you to give up something of yourself to
meet their selfish need. Or she has the tendency to control you without regards
to how you may feel (domineering) in which they boss and control you around -
some Jezebel in a spouse to be. The two character traits are worth finding out
and knowing to ascertain if you really can spend your lifetime with them or
not.
· Vindictiveness: This is described as showing a strong
desire for revenge. The truth is people will hurt and wrong each other
intentionally or otherwise. When this happens, how does your spouse-to-be
react? Does he forgive or he looks for any opportunity to mete out revenge?
Forgiveness is key in marriage, otherwise, how really can two people from
different backgrounds want to live their lives together? If you have someone
like that around you, you may want to have a rethink.
· Teachability: This is the capability of being instructed or
taught. How teachable is your spouse-to-be? If you notice something is not
right about them and you tell them in love, how do they react? Are they willing
to change or see it from your perspective or they demonstrate ITK's (I too
know) trait? How well do they accept corrections? To have a partner who is
highly opinionated or arrogant may be to sign up for an unsuccessful marriage.
· Possessiveness: It is described as manifesting a desire to
control or dominate others especially as it concerns their relationship with
others. Usually, people with low self-esteem are the ones who are overly
possessive of their partners. This trait usually leads to jealousy which can
ultimately lead to murder. This set of people could be jealous over nothing
ranging from career, colleague, friends-male or female etc. It is the spirit of
possessiveness that will cause a man to inflict 'Magun' (thunderbolt) on his
spouse with the aim of killing whoever sleeps with her perhaps within a period
of time or even out rightly send hired assassin to anyone they perceive is
sharing their woman with them. The same is applicable to women. Some of them go
to physically fight the other woman or send some people to beat them up or disgrace
them somehow.
These are some of the things you might need to look out for, and confirm if you want to live with anyone who possesses them. Bear in mind, that you cannot change anyone except God does. Aside that, his/ her personality has been formed since age 7 and could be difficult to change at 33 or so. In other words, if you think you cannot live with anyone with any of this, you may want to consider your stand because a broken relationship at any time is better than broken marriage.
Remember, Wisdom builds a house, while understanding establishes it.
1 comment:
I would want to agree with the moderator here that it is important for one to look and think well before leaping. However, it would appear one will look forever to have a man/woman with all of those things you enumerated. You mean all of these things would be seen and must be seen beforegoing ahead?
It's so amazing the way we talk about marriages in this part of the world. Some will even request that we submit our cv and back it up with 3 refrees to attest that the man is and would continue to be good behaviour. They had better hold on to their "I do" if it will require that I pass another G-Mat exams to ask for a woman's hand in marriage.
It is well.
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