Position yourself

Hiya,

I have come across quite a number of people who present themselves as pity-party because they do not have a man / woman in their lives, should that be so? Should not being in a relationship be the end of the world? I don’t think so. While it feels fulfilling to have a partner in our lives, it doesn’t entirely guarantee happiness. Would you rather be in an abusive relationship just because you want to feel among your peers as the only one not left out in this dating game? The consequence of that decision will rest on you to deal with. Or the fact that no man/ woman is in your life at the moment now mean you go around looking depressed and unkempt , just going about the whole place like someone who is bereaved? In fact, when you are in this state, I can almost bet you that nobody will want to be associated with you, because even the guy / lady is also looking at getting someone to compliment him not someone who will always look up to him / her for their needs to be met.

Below are few guidelines we may want to consider even as we position ourselves:

• Have a life: Don’t be consumed in your search for a partner that you will then put your life on hold. Don’t give up on life or convince yourself that life is not worth living because some guys are not coming at about now. Decide what you want to do and follow it thru. Do not see having a partner as your only source of happiness, do things you love doing and always feel good about yourself. 

• Take care of yourself! Dress well and decently, wear what fits and looks good on you, make your hair as at when due, I tell you, you will only repel men if you are shabby.

• Be Sociable! Don’t lock yourself or withdraw from the social circle because you are single, go out, visit friends, go see movies, be busy with profitable ventures or do some other thing that you can find happiness in.

• Don’t be desperate! Don’t have this sense of urgency in finding a mate, I mean someone to fill the vacuum that might have been created in your heart, rather take things slowly, else, you will scare potential partners away.

• Be busy! Go back to school if you have already graduated, learn new skills; you may want to try your hands on something new, tailoring, hairdressing, makeover etc, you may learn a new language, cooking techniques or new dishes altogether and so many other things.

• Love yourself: This is basically having self-respect. To be correctly positioned to be found, you need to love and respect yourself as much as you do others, so that it will help you to know how to love others. Do things that will make someone else happy, by so doing, you will find joy within yourself that can attract people to come share with and learn from you. Don’t be too hard on yourself, we all make mistakes as humans, we should learn to forgive ourselves and move on.

• Discover yourself: Discover the real you, what you can do and what you can offer. When you understand how much you can do, it will help you focus on the kind of person you want and not giving every Tom, Dick and Harry a chance in your life. See yourself as God sees you, He says in His words, that you are a peculiar person, a royalty, and you are created to show forth His praise.(1Peter 2:9)

• Focus on God: let your focus be on God alone as He who does everything beautifully in His time according to Ecclesiastes 3:11. He knows you have need for a partner and He will bring him at the appropriate time because His ways are not ours. The bible in James 1:17 says that every good and every perfect gift is from above, as such, always look up to Him. The guy next door you admire so much may just be a handsome boxer in whom you neither can find happiness or peace, allow God bring the right person for you.

Conclusively, launch out and launch big, one or two mistakes in the past should not make your condemn yourself forever or make you conclude that relationships are not worth going into. Just relax, take a deep breath and tell yourself you can do this and succeed.

Till next week again, remember, Wisdom builds a house while Understanding establishes it.